My friend Rob forwarded me the address for a new movie, called “RV”, which is coming out in March. The plot is basic: Dad (played by Robin Williams) decides the family is falling apart, and decides to take them all on a giant RV adventure to bond. This go disastrously, of course. From the promotional trailer, it looks long on visual comedy and short on reality, but Robin Williams should manage to make it funny.

This movie has to be inspired by the resurgence in RV travel over the past four years. People started shying away from air travel in 2001, and RV sales boomed. Families started discovering that spending time together wasn’t so bad. And now Hollywood is acknowledging that trend with a major motion picture.

This gives me an idea: Perhaps we can turn back to Hollywood (only 75 miles north of here) and pitch a movie based on our lives in the Airstream. Matthew McConnaughy can play me (we’re practically twins), and I think Elle McPherson can play Eleanor. I don’t know who can play Emma but I’m sure the casting agent can come up with some precocious kid. There was a little girl in “Cheaper By The Dozen” who was pretty close to an Emma.

The plot would be about a family that decided to chuck it all and travel together in an Airstream. Along the way they encounter a strange mystery. While studying condors in the Los Padres National Forest, they discover opals in a place they shouldn’t be. With the help of their Internet friends, they research the true origin of the opals and unwittingly crack an enormous smuggling operation hidden in a small California town. At first, the townspeople reject the family as a bunch of suspicious out-of-staters, but eventually Emma wins them over with her charming handmade greeting cards.

A scene from the movie, just before the bulldozer arrives!

The story ends happily, but not before a few alarming scenes, including a part where the villains try to push the Airstream over a cliff into the sea with a bulldozer. (Fortunately, I — meaning Matthew McConnaughy — tackle the villains and the bulldozer ends up in the sea instead. The Airstream is undented.)

It’s a mashup of Hitchcock, Scooby Doo, and Indiana Jones. Classic stuff! Eleanor, forget Sea World — we’re going to Hollywood!